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Post Info TOPIC: Wanna Play?


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Wanna Play?


This message board needs some livening up.  So . . . anyone wanna play?  Argue?  Fight?  Joke around?


Predator Don, wanna argue who takes the best pictures of our favortie girl?


Nik, wanna take me on?  Any subject, little girl.


Joe Knetter, wanna get into a war of words?  You know . . . best Sci-Fi writer on the planet (Carl), vs. the horror publisher with a bloody toilet (Joe)?


Anyone at all?


____________


 


Everyone, Nikky went through a lot of trouble setting this board up for her fans to play with.  Let's not let her think she wasted her time.  I log on once every week or so if anyone is interested.  Of course, if NIKKY starts kicking up the dirt, I'll log on more often!


 


 



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Oh I've been called out.  Ask and you shall receive.  The sick **** is here.  The bloody toilet brownie man.  Just back from a con where I did a reading....with my pants down...sitting on the bloody toilet....fun times..let's rock and roll.  I will get naked....I will do a disco dance...I will consume many alcoholic beverages and I will be dirty.


Joe Knetter


 


 


 


Btw...it was a pleasure meeting the two of you and will send $ for a signed copy of Fleet of Angels when I send you the copy of Bodily Fluids.



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Hell, Joe . . . I had full intentions of insulting the first person who responded to my message, but now I'm finding it difficult to out-do the insults you just gave YOURSELF!!  LOL


BTW, you send me a signed copy of your book with a return address, and I'll send you a GOOD book in return . . . mine!  LOL 


(Seriously, forget the money.  We'll simply trade.  Carl R. Merritt, P.O. Box 20157, Dayton, Ohio  45420)


__________


Steve, where are you?  You publish "Post Mortem," so are you dead, or WHAT??


__________


Nikky-Poo, how about you?  ICYA are afraid to get involved in a war of words with a bunch of writers, so how about a war of wits?  Got any ammo, little girl? 


 


 


 



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That's the difference between a sci fi writer and a horror writer.  As a horror writer everything I said about myself is a compliment.


 


I'd be happy to trade a great book (mine) for a good book (yours)....


 


Steven is currently hanging in my closet...waiting for me to take him out and abuse him some more. 



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Well, if it isn’t my two favorite little bitches, Carl and Joe. Oh, and thanks for letting me out of the closet, Joe. It was getting a bit messy in there. I think something died in the walls. Not for sure. Might want to check it out.


 


So, Carl, how’s life treating you, you goodie-two-shoes. LOL!!!


 


And Joe, you will absolutely love Carl’s Book. Not a slow moment in it whatsoever, and the same goes for you Carl. You’re both in for a real treat.


 


With that said, both of you get on your knees. What? No guys. No knee pads for you. No pain no gain. LOL!!!!    



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POST MORTEM is a new magazine dedicated to dark fiction and its imagery.


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Steve, I think what you're smelling in the walls is some of Joe's brownies that he had in his toilet! They're getting moldy . . . just like that thing he used to use for sex! And you've got to cut Joe some slack, I suppose. Anyone who prefers having a young lad like yourself locked away instead of someone like Nikky isn't all there.



(Call my cell when you get a chance. I've got another idea for your magazine.)


__________


Joe, I wouldn't abuse Steve too much. Cut the poor kid a break. You can tell by his message that he's so sexually frustrated, he LIKED being stuck in your closet!


__________


Ah, Nikky-Poo . . . where is my favorite promo girl hiding at? Why aren't you posting on your own message board? (I know you're reading this!) Could it be you're too "polished" to rub anyone the wrong way? Could it be that you're too "sweet" to post sour words about anyone? Or . . . could it be that you're a blonde and you're lacking the self-confidence to take on three deranged writers like us? (Don't use the "work" excuse, I know better... ) I swear, if you don't start getting more involved on the net, the next picture Steve has of you on his magazine covers will be one with a bloody stake driven through your back! Come on.  Join the party, SugarBritches! 


  



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So anyway, I was just in my bathroom...taking a ****.  I got curious and looked into the toilet and saw two turds floating near the top.  I named them Carl and Steven.  I Flushed them down and the little buggers floated back up.  It warmed my heart.  I gave serious thought to digging them back out and inserting them into my rectum but alas..in the end, like Kate Winslet in the movie Titanic, I pushed them back down into the water and went to my freedom.  BTW I'm not going to be throwing the necklace into the water either.  It's my ****ing necklace.


Joe



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Joe and Carl were driving down the road one day and Carl noticed a deer caught in a fence. The deer, nearly a twelve pointer, had its head stuck and was unable to remove it.


 


Carl looked at Joe and says, “You know, it’s been a long, long time.”


 


Joe looked at him confused. “What?”


 


“Yeah, it’s been a while now. Too long if you know what I mean.” He went on. “How long has it been for you?”


 


“ How long for what?!” Joe said irritably. “Have you lost it?”


 


Carl pulled the car over on the shoulder, looked at a surprised Joe, and said. “Its been to damn long, Joe. I’m going for it.” Carl threw the door open, got out, and ran down toward the struggling deer, fumbling with his pants.


 


“What the hell are you doing?” Joe in the car shook his head as Carl mounted the deer quickly without even thinking about the danger. And then it came to, Joe. He was slipping into deep thought. “You know, it has been a long time. After about ten minutes Joe threw the door open and ran full tilt boggy toward Carl. At the last moment Joe removed his pants and stuck his head in the fence.



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POST MORTEM is a new magazine dedicated to dark fiction and its imagery.


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A certain zoo had acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks, the female gorilla became very ornery, and difficult to handle.

Upon examination, the zoo veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there were no male gorilla species available.

While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed Joe Knetter, an employee responsible for cleaning the animals' cages. Joe, it was rumored, liked playing around with toilets and people thought there was something wrong with him, because whenever he left someone's bathroom, the toilet seats were always bloody.  

So, the zoo administrators thought they might have a solution. Joe was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to have sex with the gorilla for five hundred bucks? Joe showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully.

The following day, Joe announced that he would accept their offer, but only under three conditions. "First," he said, "I don't want to have to kiss her. Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring that may result from this union."

The zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they asked what was his third condition.

"Well," said Joe, "you've gotta give me another week to come up with the five hundred bucks."

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Carl and Steven were taking a shower. They were playing with each other and kissing. Then sombody knocked on the door so Steven says im going to answer the door so dont finish without me right. So he went to go answer the door when he came there was cum all over the walls, curtains, everywhere. Steven says to Carl i told you not to finish without me. 

Carl says i didnt.....I FARTED!!!!!!!

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Joe, Joe, Joe . . . if you want others to play, you've REALLY got to get your head out of the gutter, toilet . . . your butt...

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I like keeping my head in the toilet.  It's the only way I can eat them damn brownies.....mmmm tasty.  Ok...let's see......something clean...hmmm........**** I can't ****ing think of ****ing anything. 

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Joe, I suppose that's clean enough...    We just don't want to keep the world's most perfect (dizzy) blonde scared off TOO long, do we?   Do you suppose us being so rough could be her pitiful excuse for not posting?  Maybe we'll just flush HER head down your toilet next year at Twisted!  (That way we'll see if any hair coloring rinses off!  Of course, if your toilet is still bloody, then Nikky just might wind up being a redhead!) 


___________


Nikky, what the hell's keeping you from entering this madhouse?  Spending all your time sleeping, or what?  Oh!  Wait! I know!   You're just admitting you can't keep up with us men!!  Am I right, SugarBritches?


__________


Steve, what should we do with Nikky when we see her next year?  Spank her for not posting on her own board?  I guess you have until next August to make up your mind.  (Wait a minute!  Mind?  WHAT mind?  lol )



-- Edited by Carl Merritt at 23:36, 2004-10-25

-- Edited by Carl Merritt at 23:37, 2004-10-25

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Well, it seems dumb and dumber are at it again. Since you two need some help I thought I’d come buy. Here Carl, let me show you how a real man does it.


 


Dear Nikky,


 


I know times can be rushed, times can be hard, but just to have you leave a message of well being would be most honored when you’re available. You’re kind heart and your appealing thoughts are treasured very deeply by all. Please, come join us when you can.


 


 


 


Now, I hope you two have learnt something tonight. We all can’t be like s---t boy, can we? Well, now that I’ve demolished the both of you I’ll be going. And to spank Nikky? Having both limbs broken while having my entrails tore out doesn’t settle well. I’m sure she can kick some real butt.


 


Look every one, I said Little Joe’s favorite word “Butt”.



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POST MORTEM is a new magazine dedicated to dark fiction and its imagery.


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>> Steve Hemroid writes:


 


Dear Nikky,


I know times can be rushed, times can be hard, but just to have you leave a message of well being would be most honored when you’re available. You’re kind heart and your appealing thoughts are treasured very deeply by all. Please, come join us when you can.<<


 


___________


 


Steve, I think I'm going to be sick . . . (Gag!)  If MY words of wisdom don't do any good, I know THAT mush won't work on someone as brainy as Nikky!  She'll see right through that s*** and flush it right down Joe's bloody, stinkin' toilet!


 


Let me try again...


 


__________


 


Ahem!  (Clearing my throat here for some mush of my own!  )


 


Nikky-Poo?  Sweatheart?  Are you out there?  Are you still with us?  You're not TOTALLY brain-dead like Joe says . . . are you?  POST SOMETHING OR ELSE I'LL DRIVE ANOTHER WOODEN STAKE THROUGH YOUR BIG HEART AND HAVE STEVE POST THE PICTURE OF YOU LIKE THAT IN HIS MAGAZINE!



Oh, yeah . . . that'll work...    Uh-huh!



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Oh, hell . . . I know how to get Nikky to post!  I'll just play with the numbers tonight at 10:00!!!  Get my meaning, little girl?

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She had the opportunity to reply, but didn't bother with you.  Too busy elsewhere.  Do you believe us now?

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It's interesting to watch you boys play with each other! I'm here now. I know I haqven't posted in a while I'm a baaaad girl!!!!!! so who is gonna scold me first? Steve? Joe? or maybe Carl?

I have been sick so I have been in bed getting rest all by myself all snuggled up in the nice satin sheets.........all alone to play by myself

I have to run right now but if you boys can keep each other occupied for a little while I may be back sooner than you think
Nikky

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This is a combined message from Carl, Charger, Hacker and WaveGurl from MoraineAssembly.com.


Hey The ac-dc spyman!  You're gonna be sorry for scaring poor Nikky!  If Carl don't get your sorry ass, I will!!   Nobody but NOBODY does that to a friend of mine!  Charger


Carl is going to beat you up!  Hehe!  I hope somebody takes pictures!  - Wavey


I wouldn't want to be in your shoes for all the tea in China, buddy!  You mess with a friend of Carl's, and you're soon to learn what pain is!!!!  Remember the guy you sent in the parking lot?  -Hacker


I'll see you in the gym!  You deserve much worse, but I guess I'll have to settle for that.  I hope you have good medical insurance...  - Carl


 


 


 


 


 



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Okay, guys . . . the big problems (at least) with the lunatics from hell are over.  It's time to get this thread livened up again!  So... 


__________


Joe, are you REALLY ****ing retarded like you claim, or are you just too damned lazy to send me a copy of your book?  Are you saying your book isn't any good, or WHAT


__________


Steve, get off your duff and figure out ways to market Post Mortem before it falls!  Tell Eric I'm free to work on advertisements again, but what are YOU doing . . . sticking your head in a fence for Joe now instead of working for your own magazine!  Get your head out of that fence, wipe your butt and start promoting Post Mortem or I'll ask Nikky to ignore you at Twisted next year!


__________


Nik . . . I don't even know what to say about you!  You think I'd rather play around with THESE two jokers than with YOU?  Now you have me thinking "bondage" pictures next time!  I know you're not ticklish, so how about participating in my "Abe's Tomb, Sacrifice a Blonde Ritual" next year at TNW?  I'd bet you'd run away faster than this happy face! 



-- Edited by Carl Merritt at 03:20, 2004-11-08

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quote:





Originally posted by: Carl Merritt
"Joe, are you REALLY ****ing retarded like you claim, or are you just too damned lazy to send me a copy of your book?  Are you saying your book isn't any good, or WHAT?    -- Edited by Carl Merritt at 03:20, 2004-11-08"


 





Derr.......uuuuhhhhhhhhhh.............pfppppppppppppp...DROOL.......Actually been waiting for the printed copies to arrive and been busy finishing my next book...and it's really ****ing nasty......Wait till you guys read the story Zombie Bukkake.....WOW......


Tiki tiki tembo no serembo cherry berry ruchie pep a pep a pembo


Rock and roll


Do on to others as they done to you but what the hell is this world coming to


 



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Joe wrote: "Tiki tiki tembo no serembo cherry berry ruchie pep a pep a pembo"


 


Joe . . . are we having problems with our spell checker again?  LMAO!



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I thought i did typos!! So how are the children's books coming along? lol hope you put some pictures in seen as the spelling may a be a little off.

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Nik, come to think about it, maybe those AREN'T typos!  After a few drinks, that's the way Joe TALKS! 


I also have a question for you, little girl...   Since Steve seems to have forgotten about us, what do you want to do to him when he arrives at Twisted Nightmare Weekend next August?  Remember how I drove that wooden stake through your back?  (Yeah, well . . . that turned ME on anyway...  It's not that I'm overly perverted, it's just that I hate blondes!  )  Anyway, about Steve...  This is just a suggestion, but what do you think about us cutting his head off with my talon-handled sword for the next set of pictures?  Or . . . you could just bite him on the neck.  THAT'S a lot of fun! 



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